Reflection

This year, as in all of the past 3, I have been amazingly lucky. Through my friends and coworkers I have been affoarded inumerable opportunities for enjoyment and self improvement. I realize that I may not always show how greatful I am that I have so much. At times it is hard for even the best of us to keep smiling. I don't meet all my challenges with grace (yet) but I hold them dear to my heart. Once conquered we look fondly on all obsticals.

I have so many new ways to look at myself this year. I am a Judo black belt. I enjoy Lolita fashion. I am a student of Japanese. I am the social organizer of my little group here. I am a peer leader. I am a member of the JET Steering Committe. I was the expert on youth culture at the midyear seminar. I am friend, companion, and lover. I am a fed up teacher. I am finally becomming the kind of adult I want to be. The road to self discovery is a hard one. Mine has been relatively easy up until now and the knowledge that it will get a lot harder here on out scares me. But I have yet to meet a mountain I cannot climb. Even if I need to take baby steps sometimes.



How much of ourselves do we really own? How many of my acomplishments are mine and how many of them are only the result of my interactions with others? Does any of it really matter? Some of these questions seemed so important three years ago. It used to be all about me me me. But I realized the other day that it no longer had to be that way- and contrary to what I thought that was pretty liberating. I thought that to correct my deficiencies I would have to focus on my problems all the time. To obsess is to succeed. But most of what I got out of obsessing was an embarassing sense that I thought too much about myself. I'm not an altruist, but I don't want to soley be an Amberist either. I'll leave stuff like that to L. Ron Hubbard. And Tom Cruise. And Al Frankin.

When I was in high school I felt like I lost myself. I've felt foolish all along for my stupid tempers, my idiotic self deprication, for the foolish vanity I possess and the abysmal way I dismissed my own power and strengths, and for all the floundering and self pity I didn't really want but simply could not avoid. I have never been unhappy with my surroundings or my people, the key to all the greif I have endured and caused these past few years lies in feeling lost. It lies in feeling that someone else always has the bigger slice of cake, the better opinion, the more rational idea, a more deserving situation or anything else that could fall in that vein.

I knew it was foolish-I did! But for people like me, strong, creative, idealistic, intelligent and passionate- people like that will fall into ourselves and drown sometimes. We eat ourselves alive from the inside and that is why nothing from the outside can save us. It's not depression, or at least, not all of it. It's that when people like me question reality, and the importance of everything we held sacred- and when we find no answer in ourselves that satisfies- our world collapses like a black hole and nothing can save us until we work our way out of it.



These years on JET have been amazingly good to me. I've had the time and space I needed to work things out for myself. Any greif in this time has come from feeling like I should already have healed and moved on. Unfortunately thoughts like this are counter productive and any stress would mutiply them. Often stress would come from the people around me as we asserted our personalities. Feeling like I lost out (which was a phantom feeling caused by low self worth) kiled any chances I had of getting better. But I feel ok now. I'm done with this period in my life. I'm going to be a little bit more like the stronger personalities I know (and they are more obsinate than me-ha ha!).

I'm going to trust in myself and take my risks-and take them like a man, if you will. I'm going to keep on making mistakes but I'm not going to dwell on those. Not being miserable anymore, though, makes me feel like my whole life now is a mistake. This mind and body have lived so long with a negative self image that I don't really know what a normal life feels like. But there's nothing to worry about. Smart people catch on quickly. And ambitious people work hard to make things work to their advantage.

Rudyard Kipling's poem "If" has come to mean a lot to me in the past few years. Especially the line where he talks about losing everything you'd built in a single wrong move, and building it all up again without a single wimper. I'm paraphrasing but you get the point. I don't want to lose everything I've built. But I know that if you want more than you seem to be alloted in life you are going to have a few crushing defeats. I feel like I've paid enough in 7 years to more than make up for a few (or more) years of unparalled sucess. Hopefully fate will agree with me. According to many people we make our own fate so if they are correct than I am in the clear.



So what ho! I'm Scarlett O'Hara now going forward and not looking back (too much). The future is bright and I'm prepared to accept the consequences of shaping my own destiny. I can only hope that there will be as much kindness and fortuen in my next 25 years as there were in my first. There may be faries and there may be elves, but as my daddy says and as I am comming to believe, God seems to help those who help themselves. This is Riply, last survivor of the Nostromo-signing off.

Date in Tennoji

I went out with Kaito again tonight. Of all the boys I have dated here in Japan he is by far my favorite. It's a little stiff to make conversation some times but when we get rolling it's always interesting and informative. He likes fantasy books, german, beer and Japanese foods. So when he talks about these subjects it's really a fun time. We went to an izakaya chain store (The drunken tiger, if you must know) for dinner and ended up staying for about two and a half hours. My most memorable moments were talking about WWII and Germany's part in it. Along with newspapers and news programs around the world and whose are the best. He's really in tune with what's going on, but he admits that all his reading probably is what is making him so tired. So, we switched topics and held forth a long time on Yaki Tori.

I learned how to tell exactely what icky part of the bird I'm eating and how to say each in japanese and English. One of the best parts was when he was describing the gizzard and said that it was the part that was where sand was stored. All i could do was give him the grossed out look, he just laughed. Men, Japanese or otherwise, are truely set in their ways. He told me about Horimon Yaki- which is basically all the garbage parts of the bird that are fried up and eaten. Hori is slang for throw away and mon is thing. Thus, I said, it basically means friend garbage. I was impressed with my wit but I suspect it didn't translate. Or else it actually wasn't that amusing anyway. Oh well. Incidently Kai's favorite fried grossness is hearts. I know how to order that in japanese, too. It has the same name as a very famous, very contemplative novel by Natsume Soseki. Something feels like counterpoint to me in this case.

After the izakaya kicked us out-two hour limit, and the place was filing up- we went over to the Green Leaf cafe in Abeno. They are closing down so that the people who run it can go their separate ways. Kai quizzed the bar tender who said that they didn't think it was doing really well- which makes sense to me as I have never exactely seen the place jumpin'. Kai is funny because he orders cocktails. He also likes cocktails that are sweet and not very popular. He's perplexed more than one bartender in his life. But we eventually made it to a table, where I found out that Kalua Milk after sickness (and near alchohol poisoning 3 weeks ago) did not agree with me. Thus I managed to spill it all over the table and poor Kai's jacket. He took it well and I am vowing not to talk with my hands outside of school anymore. (fat chance)

We really had a good time. I had some tea and read a little of Kai's most recent foray into Western fantasy novels (Robert Jorden's Wheel of Time series). I got to know a little more about what he likes and what the genera means to him. I also learned that Japanese fantasy novels sometimes use English names and also have pictures. I was impressed that Kai actually spends time visualizing the scene when he reads. I speed over things to get to the resolution of the story as fast as I can. Two different ways of looking at things and two people who enjoy reading equally as much as each other. I always find this kind of thing strange.

Kai also made a lot of Latin jokes. He's a funny guy. In the same way I am funny. Which is to say pretty much not at all on a normal humor scale. So, of course, I laughed a lot. Good times were had by all (except the other people I spilled my drink on).

Sakura Buds

Sakura Buds
Originally uploaded by nekocon.

These are from next to my school. The buds are beautiful in their own way because they are harbingers of Spring. Just looking at them gives me a feeling of jubulent expectation!

Spring is Here!

Finally I am almost fully recovered from my nasty, nasty illness! It's taken almost 11 days to finally get this virus out of my system. I am still a little funky but I should be back to normal by Monday. Just in time for Judo! I went to club a few days ago to meet one of the shinyusei (new first years) who is a really good Judo player. According to what I could understand her mother is a Judoka but her father hates the sport. Matoba sensei talked to her a little bit about it and I was really happy to see her warm to him. Some people are just meant to be teachers because they have a warm heart. I think he's one of those people. I really hope to see her do well at Fujitaka.

This week I've kept busy even though I've felt awful. I went to my Shamisen lesson on Tuesday after actually having practiced. My teacher was so pleased he didn't just smile- he beamed! I was really glad to be there. My fingers were so in tune that I was able to sight read the rest of the piece I am playing. Now for a little memorization and zam! I'll be done with another one. I am actually looking forward to the Salonkai on the 16th. I'm so glad I kept up with shamisen. This last year has really seen me improve.

I went out to see two different Japanese guys this week too. They both live in Tokyo and were both interesting. I had seen one previously and talked on the phone with the other. I'm not actually sure that I like either of them. Japanese men are really strange about somethings. At times I feel like we're separated by a huge gulf. That said, I went out with Kai tonight and had a really good time. Couldn't eat much but I always love hanging out with him (more in later post).

I've also been preparing myself for the future. Both thinking about what I want to do with my life and storing up as much Japan as I possibly can. I bought two cup and dish sets. One is a mug cup with a saucer and one is a sakura-pattern pink cut-glass cake plate and drinking glass. I'm thinking ahead to summer when I won't want as much hot tea. I love the pottery and glassware in this country. Going to Hecht's in the states will just no longer compare!!

I've got lots to tell so stay tuned. :)

English Camp

I went to Sumiyoshi English Camp in Shinodayama last week. It was two nights and three days of English immersion for Sumiyoshi High School's International course kids. In Japan some high schools have special courses that focus on a certain element during the three years the students attend. It's like the magnet schools for art or music back home. The kids take all the rest of the subjects like math and science and history, but most of their electives are focused on something else. The international course kids focus on learning foreign language and taking classes in English. They have a lot of current events discussion groups and debate classes. This English Camp was the culmination of their first year in school and it was supposed to be like a mini home stay. There were about 35 ALTs and 20 Japanese teachers (English teachers and other subjects too). It was a pretty good experience both for the teachers and the kids.

The first day we had a meeting after we got up from the station. Most of us had cabbed it up there because it was a 20 minute walk up hill ain pretty iffy weather. It started to rain when we got there so I was glad for the ride. The subsequent meeting was about an hour and included lunch. The SUmiyoshi ALTs did a really great job of explaining what was to happen during the camp. We all felt pretty prepared after that. The kids came soon after that and we had our enterence ceremony. We did a little self introduction and slpit into small groups for more self intros. Our main activity of the evening was making a newspaper. It took two hours and the kids were given a picture to create a story around. Our articles were cute: The true founder of Akihabara being a foreign guy who first owned a shop there, the man who invented the stuff that takes the itch out of mosquito bites and something to do with two lovers. It was a good time, although my group was pretty quiet. We split for dinner, half eating and half playing a game called Lost (which items would you take after a plane crash?) and then switch. There wasn't room in the cafeteria for all of the kids at once so we took shirts for all the meals.

Journal writing was the last activity, and it was the one we had all dreaded the most. However, it ended up being one of the most fun times we had. It was a chance to chat with the kids about their interests and to get to know them well. The first night we were going to take shirts but ended up all just staying in and playing with the kids. The second night Abe brought his copy of Joe's Apartment and we listened to the kids play piano. The kids are really great over there and willing to get to know people so I think that this was the most useful part of the camp. Free conversation is how you really learn to use a foreign language well.

The second day was a big debate tournement. We did a demo for the kids the day before so they could see what they needed to do. For medium level English skills they did an amazing job. The final debate was pretty good on the part of both the pro and con teams. The subject was "It is better to get a job after high school than to go to university." It was a hard one to argue but the kids did really nicely. There were some different activities for teams that were eliminated early in the rounds so they got a break from the debating. That evening we had a cook out (Japanese style-I'll give it a special post!) and a bonfire. Those were probably my favorite parts with the fire, s'mores and singing. Journal writing followed again and we all stayed up much later chatting that evening.

The last day was for English comedy. The kids made some funny skits and played them out for different ALTs. Then a group of pro English Rakugo peeople came in and performed for them. It was great bcause they spoke slowly and sometimes mixed in japanese so een the kids who were burning out had a good time. Saying goodbye after the awards ceremony was sad, be we had all had a great time. I wish them well with the experience next year. I'm sure it will come to be a time honored and much looked forward to tradition.

Sickness!

Monday night I got so sick that I had a fever and chills. It was kind of awful, actually. I slept badly and when I woke up my tonsils were pretty nasty and swollen. This has lasted for three days-thank goodness it's spring break and I can dodge work a little! I hope they don't catch on but if they do I'll just ask for sick leave. I stayed home and slept and drank tea and ate toast. Not all together a great time but couldn't be helped. It was so bad when I woke up this morning that I slept again all day and finally went to the doctor. I went late at around 5:45 and was afraid I wouldn't get seen because they close at seven. The receptionist was doubtful so I went and waited in a nearby cafe. Strangely enough I met one of my Friday nigth students, Koji. He used to date a friend of mine and he told me that she's comming to Japan during golden week. I met his friend and we chatted in English and Japanese, and then I went back to the clinic. Luckily I was seen that day, after meeting another of my adult students in the waiting room!

The lowdown is this: I have a viral infection. My tonsils are swollen but it's not tonsilitis. When I lay down the goop fills up my tonsils again so each day they stay swollen. I have a pain killer and an anti inflamitory that I have to take three times a day with food. I also have to gargle with water mixed with medicine that I recieved three times a day. It will be a pain, but at least it's not a week. The doctor was really nice and not shy at all. He spoke to me mostly in simple English so it was very easy to understand. We could meet in the middle of English and Japanese. I can't wait for this ick to be gone, but I no longer fear the ear clinic.

Japan, Japan, Japan

I'm getting morose again- I think that means I have too much time to think. Spring break is like that and being so sick only compounds that. I had a fever complete with chills-chills!!!-the other day and since then my lymph nodes in my throat have been swollen and achey. I made it in to work today for a little while but managed to avoid all meaningful conversation. Then I can home and took a nap. I finished Howl's Moving Castle again, too. Helena finally managed to get through it. The weather all day has been cold and rainy- this may be the kicker of it all.

I've spent a long time looking around my room these past few days and I've realized how much I've come to like it here. I do really like this crummy apartment with it's weird sinkless toilet area and it's tin walls. I like my shamisen leaning against my bookshelf and my tiny closet. Ok, maybe not the closet thing. And I miss having a nice big sink with a dishwasher. And a dryer. But I've gotten used to it here. I liek the fact that the major language here is Japanese, not Spanishi. Whoops-I mean English. Que Terrible! I'm not crazy about moving to a country where I won't be able to speak Japanese. And I'm really not crazy about moving back to the D.C. metro area. I never thought I'd want to leave it but now I can't see how you people deal with it. Bleah.

I've been thinking a lot about my future. I've done lots of job research and graduate school research. I've even looked at getting more teaching jobs in Japan. But I feel like staying on as an English teacher would just be putting things off. I need a direction in life and avoiding reality isn't going to give me one. I have a goodish savings in reserve so I can really do anything I want. I can even take a year off to travel! But I realized that I don't really want to do that. I've done the world travel thing and it's fun, really. I can't stress that enough. But I'm not up for a whole year of hostels and backpacks-I've lolied up too much for that!

You really never know what you're going to be happy with until you try it. I never thought I'd stay in Japan for three years. I thought about leaving after my first six months! But that was mostly due to the company I kept- there's a story for you. I don't want to avoid the idea of a "real job" just because I'm freaked about growing up. It's not the moving away from home and supporting myself fear (obviously). But it's the humdrum life in a boring office that worries me. Actually, life here gets pretty humdrum, too. But hey! At least it's Japan. I wouldn't be so happy with this job or another boring job in any other country.

The thing about living in a free society is that you really are free to do what you wish. There are both legal and moral constraints, as befits a worthy system, but most of our chains are in the mind. With all that's going on in the world and especially with radical islam and the way it treats it's women (hello sharia law!) I am really appreciating what it means to be American and to be totally free. So long as I have the guts I can live out my dreams and because so many women are trapped in their cultures it would be a shame not to have some of my own. I'm tired of being knocked around by the Universe. This next step is going to be totally mine.

I think I want to go back to school next. I have some ideas on programs here in Japan and the money issue seems like it would be an easy one to overcome. There are quite a few scholarships out there for foreign students. I am seriously looking at Ritsumeikan U down in Kyushu ( a friend of mine went to their Kyoto campus). But with Ritsumei everything is taught in English. I live la vida eigo here and I know how hard it is to learn Japanese that way. What I really want is to be fluent enough to eventually pass 1 kyu (the highest level of the Japanese proficiency test) and to read Japanese novels. Plus I want to study Judo at the Kodokan some day and I want to take my classes in Japanese. So here is where I stand now. One foot in the present but one foot poised to set out to seek my fortune in the future. Stay tuned for further developments. And email me, too! It's lonely here being sick.

Snack!

Snack!
Originally uploaded by nekocon.

It looks like a pear but it's bean paste and rice paste. Japan rules!

Alien Soap Dispenser

Alien Soap Dispenser
Originally uploaded by nekocon.

Hard to tell from the picture but it's true. For the die-hard fan of the universe's most bad-ass monster!

Amber and Helena @ Izakaya

Amber and Helena @ Izakaya
Originally uploaded by nekocon.

We got the all you can drink course and hen went to an all you can drink club. I might have woken up on Helena's kitchen floor later that night...good times were had by all!

Loli in Kyoto

Loli in Kyoto
Originally uploaded by nekocon.

Not the most flattering pic but still cool. I like the lighting.

Chibi Alien!!!

Chibi Alien!!!
Originally uploaded by nekocon.

Everything in Japan has a big-eyed cutie form. Even the Alien! Careful Riply, you'll be consumed by the cuteness!

Shopping in Osaka 1

There are a ton of great places to shop in Osaka, so I thought I might share a few of my favorites. I've shopped for everything here in the course of three years. These range from electronics, to pottery, clothing, loli clothing, accesories, books, toys, Japanese crafts, and innumerable other things.

In the minami area there are a few regions that I enjoy. For a general glitz and glitter experience I like to walk down teh covered walk way that funs just parallel to MidosujiAvenue. Here you can see fashionable clothing stores and restaurants in adition to some of the more colorful stores. A few notable ones are the Sanrio store and the Disney store-both larger than life and busy beyond all belief when there is new merchandise to have. The 90 minute cake and pasta buffet is another one of my favorites- it's called Sweets Paradise and it's popular with the young locals. There is a good book store with a large English section that is called Athens. Three or four huge drug stores always have a price war going on so you can find good deals on anything from fine cosemtics to everyday laundry detergent.

I also like the network of covered walkways that works itself down through ebisubashi over towards den den town. In these areas you can find anything from crazy shoes, english pop music videos, kitchen and restaurant supplies include plastic models of food for display- if you can dream it then you can probably find it here. And at the end if you're still not sated there is the electronics area of den den town. I have bought a camera here, an electric Japanese dictionary, manga, and anime cells. The big electrics stores are always (again) engaged in price wars and closeout sales so it's likely you can get a discount or points towards other merchandise when you make a purchase. The smaller shops are good for hard to find computer components and specific camera lenses that the larger stores may not carry. Bargin shopping can take all day!

A Good but Rainy Sunday

I had a great Sunday. Slept in very late due to no alarm-got up and went into the city with my friend. We tried to get some Sumo tickets for next week but missed the cut off. The ticket window was closed. We will have to sneak over there on Tuesday to get some seats for next Monday. I am pretty excited as the only match I have seen was a one day tournement. We are going to see part of the actual ranking tournements this time. They have them three times a year (I think) in Osaka, Nagoya, and Tokyo. It's cool to go over there and see all the Sumo-san walking around after their bouts. I bet it will be interesting to see all their fans, too.

After our dissappointment we went and grabbed some Japanese fast food. I can't gripe about the calories because it pepped me right up. And it's always interesting to have fast food in Japan. In a Japanese joint you get to see a foreign take on your culture's crummiest resource. In an American joint, and I'm ashamed to say we dined at one of those in the evening, it's an interesting juxtaposition of cultures. I like to watch the Japanese in there to se what they think of it. What you can see is so different from what you cn see back in the states.

Ryan then helped me find a good electric dictionary (Japanese/English/Kanji). I got it for around $200 and it came with enough points to give me $35 in free money. I bought a carry case with it and still have some cash to spend later. We had a cuppa at co*hi*kan and I used my 100 yen coupon. All in all I like to think it was a thrifty experience. And it was a good walk due to the rain clearing up. I was away from home about 7 hours. Not bad for waking up at 1pm!

Up Late Again

I'm still up and it is 3:30am here in Osaka-fu, Habikino-shi. I wanted to blog this because it's good to remember that even the good life has it's dificulties. Nothing is perfect, and even the easy times have things you are willing to give up. Lately I've been sleeping odd hours- too much or not at all. I wake up tired and go to bed tired. in between I have no energy. I think it's a combination of Hay Fever (I hear it's strong this year) and all the colds my kids carried during their last term. Plus I think of things I have to do when I can't sleep. And of the things that are stressing me out. So, future me, during the difficult times ahead please remember this: JET is a blast, but even the easy life has it's bumps.

New Japanese Dictionary

New Japanese Dictionary
Originally uploaded by nekocon.

It's electric!

Fire Festival and Ume

Today I had an amazing time with Helena and Ryan. We went out to Nara to catch the end of the Ume blossums. And of course we got some really cute Loli pictures. Helena was really great and took a ton of me. Some actually came out pretty well, too! We hung out with the deer and ate food from the street venders. Our main purpose was actually to see the Omizutori- which means water taking. However, the famous part that we went to see was the fire festival. The water is taken from a sacred well around two in the morning and I believe it is a religious ceremony and not for public consumption.

The fire festival was really interesting. We got there an hour early to wait but found out that the prime spots had been filled over an hour earlier! However, we did get what seemed to be pretty good second tier standing views despite a large tree in the way. We met some really genki Japanese obaachans too. Waiting wasn't much fun but we had a good chat and the weather was warm and breezy. When the drums started the men began to carry the huge flaming poles up to the top of the temple. The pole and buring bundle together weigh about 80 pounds. THe men must have it lit from the sacred fire and carry it up the steep temple steps to the porch that overlooks the crowd. Then they allow the air to fan the flames creating a fireball which they dance back and forth across the temple railing raining down lucky sparks on the waiting people below. If you catch the sparks on your clothing you will be lucky for a whole year. Someone must be about to win the lottery because the first burning bundle fell completely off the pole and nearly over the safety fence! The temple was almost set on fire by an overzelous wave and subsequent flying fireball- but other than that there were no major mishaps. It was a good night and certainly a sight that I have never seen before.

Afterwards we walked a long ways down to the Akintestu Nara shopping street for a donburi dinner. For 500 yen it was a pretty good experience. The quality of the donburi was really good at the little shop, despite how busy they were. I will definitely take my parents there when they come to visit. The long train ride home was very enjoyable and we talked about everything ranging from driving to family. It felt a lot like the good parts of college did. I am really glad we were all able to spend some time together.

Date in Temmabashi

On Thursday I had a really great date with my friend Kaito in Temmabashi. We took a "water bus" tour of the area. It was interesting because he's kind of a map/transportation Otaku so he knew all the buildings and what went on in them. We also got to see Osaka Castle and the Nakanoshima rose garden area. I really want to go there with one of my teachers because she mentioned how nice it was. Plus I bet I can get some really nice Ama-loli pics there (huzzah huzzah!!). The cruise was an hour and the boat had a ceiling that could be raised and lowered to get under low bridges. They showed us how it went but all the bridges we traveled under were high enough that it wasn't a neccesity. I wonder where they go that they need a ceiling to do that? I bet they take private charter tours because we saw two of the other boats in use. Although we could only catch a ferry once every hour, so they must not stop at each port. Interesting.

We hung out at Kai's favorite coffee shop and had really strong coffee. He usually takes one sugar but had to take two to make it sweet enough to drink. I used two creamers, but it was just an excuse to have extra creamy coffee! Kai is great because he is a news nut so he always knows what is going on around the world. He's not as opinionated as some of my friends, but he's a good listner when I interject. Although, I wonder if this is just the language barrier functioning. Language and culture have a real and observable impact on daily interactions between people even if one party is fluent in the other's language. Despite these musings we had a really good conversation. Afterwards we went to a bookshop and checked out all the English textbooks. Kai was suprised at their being so many- i think it is gall on his part that so few German books are present in Japanese bookstores (He's fluent in German).

It was a highly enjoyable time. I really like going out with men who have things to say. Sometimes their interests can be a little tedious (take note people) but the back and forth of conversation always evens things out in the end. It's great to have a male Japanese friend who isn't so shy (anymore, anyway). Japanese males were always a mystery to me because they would never get too close. It's been good for me to know this one because I like him enough to be patient with our differences. Patience has paid off and now I feel like I have a friend for life.

People Make an Experience

Everytime I think about leaving Osaka the first thing that makes me sad is all the people I know I will leave behind. Sometimes my job gives me the aching shudders (accompanied by dark clouds of nauseous irritation) but I really like all my teachers and students. My english teachers are all really amazing people. Even the ones that are a little too chatty (outside of class) or a little too silent (inside class) are amazing and warm hearted people. My Vice Principal is the same way and so is the Principal, when I see him. My Judo teacher (and the club members), the teacher who introduced me to Shamisen, the girls who work in the library and science department, my first supervisor who was transfered, the crazy social studies teacher, the computers teacher who fixed my first computer (after the horrible miso soup incident ...), the maintenece guys and the cafeteria staff-these are all the poeple who have made my work life memorable and worthwhile. And my students, sometimes they drive me nuts but they are all really good kids. And it's true-they are are really, really cuties. Leaving the people will be the hardest thing of all (but teaching english sucks the big one, even if it is easy).

All the adult students from the many, many different English classes I have taught were also amazing. Everyone brought their own experiences to the group and always had something to say. Sometimes it was just the mudane details of their life. however, to me, them sharing that was sometimes the best thing of all. You don't often get an inside look here in Japan so these little one offs were really a chance for me to come to understand the culture even more. It also made me realize that the best English speakers weren't always my favorites. They weren't always the most fun, friendly, or even interesting. It was a good experience because it increased the value I put on people not just intelligence. It also means that now I place more value on myself. I'm not perfect and I'm not ingenious, but I'm kind person with a lot of experiences to share. I realize now that those are two invaluable qualities in life.

My friends here in Japan, both foreign and Japanese, have taught me lifetimes worth of things. They are always entertaining and most of the time seem entertained by me, too. I've never felt so complete as I do when I'm out with my people here. I don't think I've had friends like this in a long time-it shows me how college could have been had I been able to relax a little more. With these people I've done all the things I have ever wanted to do. We have gone clubbing and drinking more times than I can count (and frankly, I think I'm done with that!). I've gone traveling with many different friends, both Japanese and American. I've dressed (and been introduced to, actually) Lolita and gone to Kamakura and Disney world. I've had house parties, been to house parties, drunk tea, seen movies, eaten uncountable dinners out, gone hiking and biking, taken pictures, played music, laughed, thrown (Judo...) and danced like a total maniac. I don't think times can get much better.

People here have become my friends and mentors, and one has become like an older sister to me. I revere her style and am greatful for her advice on all things. It is the people that I have met as much as the things I have studied and experienced that have allowed me to become more than I was 3 years ago. When I came here I knew and cared and strived only half as much as I now do. Whatever comes next, I am hopeful that I can use these experiences to help other younger women find themselves as I have found myself.

Ah Spring! Now What??!!

Spring has sprung here in Osaka and I would be estatic if not for two things. The first being the fact that it has rained or been cloudy 8 out of ten days here. The second is the realization that the warmer the weather the closer I am to leaving Japan. Or at least leaving my cushy job here at Fujiidera SHS. I've spent three years here languishing on my tail and I'm wondering if I can still cut it in the real world. Although, if I can't, I'm one dead duck!

I have a few leads for what comes next. Most of them are graduate schools. At this point it's really too difficult to find a full time job in the states. There just aren't positions that want filling in 6 months-not suprising. However, I am purusing the boards and putting up my resume. So far I haven't found anything that has caught my interest. I've decided that I want to get a Master's degree in something that will allow me to follow up on my undergrad education-which was environmental science. Currently I am researching positions that are focused on environmental policy and sustainable development. I'm looking mainly at programs here in Japan that are taught in English. I would like to improve my Japanese during my higher education. So, a good program here that has excellent references will meet those specifications exactely! :)

Temmbbashi Lolita!

Temmbbashi Lolita!
Originally uploaded by nekocon.

Loving the shi-loli!

Beautiful Lolita in Temmabashi

Beautiful Lolita in Temmabashi
Originally uploaded by nekocon.

Heart E Alice Band, purse and cutsew. Skirt is Innocent World and shoes are Antena. Parasol is Metaーnatch!

Goodbye, Sweet Japan

I have spent a lot of time not updating my blog with words because I always feel like I'm going to fail to capture what I really want to say. I have this great fear that what I've got inside isn't as god as I think it is. Lately I've realized this is foolish. Why waste your time worrying about your talent? Just enjoy what you have got and move on with your life. To that end it is time to start recording what I have gained here in the land of the rising sun. My time here will shortly come to an end and i want to remember everything that I can and save it up. It's been a good ride and I will always treasure the memories. Some from here on out be prepared for a lot more content! Plus more photos because I love blogging from my phone.

Hello Chrissy!

This weekend and the beginning of the week were really excellent. My friend Chrissy came from America this week with a few of her coworkers. I got the chance to show them around Osaka on Monday night and Kyoto on Tuesday afternoon. I really enjoyed hanging out with everyone. It's nice to know that some things from America still cature and hold my interest. (^_-)

On Monday I went to a hotel to have a good meal and a nice onsen bath. It was the Seiryu hotel, which I believe means blue dragon. One of our Dans (the Japanese word for team, or group) at culture festival is called Seiryu. The hotel's name is written in Katakana so it's hard to tell. That said, we had an amazing feast that consisted of sashimi, cold dishes, a personal nabe, teppan yaki, soup that was boiled in a small tea pot, and rice boiled in a small pot. Along with it was red miso soup, Japanese style beef stew and a strawberry crepe. The bath was very nice, and included an indoor and outdoor area. We got rained on a bit but it wasn't too bad.

In the evening we went shopping at Heart E. I wore my lacy Bodyline skirt and my lacy cutsew. I bought some parasol's from Metamorphose and one matched the outfit perfectly. We picked up Chrissy and her friends at their Ryokan-which was suprisingly in Soemoncho. It's one of the sexed up areas of Osaka. In spite of that it seemed like a nice place. I took them to the covered walk way to see some of the fashions in Osaka. We checked out Sanrio store- and Chrissy (a big Hello Kitty fan) lost the power to speak during the experience. We also saw my favorite 300 yen store wich is a plethora of cute stuff. To round it off we went to the all you can eat cake place, "Sweets Paradise". All in all it was a good day.

Monday I met them in Kyoto in the afternoon. After a little fumbling during the outset, we walked around gion and Yasaka Shrine. Everyone there enjoyed taking photographs so they really enjoyed the scenery. As it got a little cold we found a restaurant with a great view of the river and had chanko nabe. I really enjoyed being able to translate and play guido-san for my people. It was pretty great!

Elegant Gothic Lolita

Elegant Gothic Lolita
Originally uploaded by nekocon.

This me and my new parasol! In front of Heart E but wearing Bodyline and Metamorphose.

Best Textmail Ever

Best Textmail Ever
Originally uploaded by nekocon.

こんばんは この前の月曜は寝てるのに誘ってごめんね テストも終わりなんでいいですね お疲れ様 俺は今テスト中だよ 昨日は英語が話せるっていう日本人の女の子と会ったよ 話が盛り上がってホテルに行く事になったんだけど、英語があまり話せない事が分かったから、そのまま帰ってきた 英語が話せる女の子しか興味ないからね 君はあれから何人かの人とあった？いい友達見つけたかな？